Lucky Me

I’m so lucky. Do you know what a sickeningly lucky person I am? No, no you do not. So I will tell you.

I lost my flashdrive. My first homework packet for math is due tomorrow. This is two weeks’ worth of math we’re talking about. Usually, I save homework in both my flashdrive and my email, just in case I lose my flashdrive. This was the one time I didn’t. I was about to look over all my answers and email it in, when I realized I didn’t have it.
Womp womp womp.
I called the public library where I go to study almost every day.
“Describe it to me,” said the helpful man on the other end.
“Well,” said I, “it used to be red, but my brother didn’t like it red, so he spray-painted it white, but then it just looked like a red flashdrive covered in yogurt, so he scraped off the spray-paint, so now it’s white with red spots and looks like it’s covered in yogurt. That’s why he gave it to me.”
“. . . . . Hmm, I see. Well, I’m afraid we don’t have anything that, uh, matches that description.”
So then I took everything out of my backpack and looked again. Nothing there. Then I checked my coat pockets. Candy wrappers, marbles, a couple of seashells, and a Canadian quarter, but no flashdrive. I checked my denim bag. Nothing.
I asked the school library lady.
“Excuse me, I think I left a flashdrive here,”
“What does it look like?”
“Well, it’s very beat up and red and white and looks like it’s covered in yogurt–“
“You can’t mean this old thing, can you? We just emptied out our lost and found, but this thing’s been sitting here all night and I don’t know what to do with it.”
She held up my flashdrive. I could have kissed her.
But I didn’t, ’cause that would have been weird.
The end.
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