Conversations with Brother

These are my typical conversations with Younger Brother.

Conversation 1: Banana Ninja

Banana Ninja

Erik: Guess what, Sofia! Something amazing just happened!

Sofia: You found a dollar? You got a job?

Erik: No, so there’s this website, and it’s called BananaNinja.com, and it’s actually a relatively decent website, I mean, some of their stuff is a little silly, but for the main part–

Sofia: Wait, what is this?

Erik: Banana Ninja! They make movies about a Banana Ninja! I mean, you’d think something like that would be a lot more popular than it is, but it isn’t. I mean, you just look at their forums and it’s pretty sad. Nobody comments on their stuff except me. In fact, sometimes they even joke about it. But anyway, stop interrupting me! They had a contest, and so you get a fortune cookie, but if you get a paper crane, then you get a free item from their store, but there aren’t very many paper cranes, I mean, they’re really, really rare, but if you do, then you’ve won their contest. But I got a crane, and so I took a screenshot of it and sent it to them and now I can get a Banana Ninja T-shirt for free! Except that they haven’t emailed me back yet, and I did do it pretty late, so maybe they aren’t checking their email as frequently. But yeah!

Sofia: . . . Cool story bro. I could have told it in two sentences, but I’m happy for you.

I think these things, but I don’t actually say them. Unless I’m in a bad mood.

Conversation 2: The Contents of Erik’s Jar

Erik: Hey Sofia! Guess what! Something amazing has happened!

Sofia: You’ve decided to be a plumber when you grow up? You won another free T-shirt?

Erik: No, stop interrupting me. The spider in my spider jar finally caught the fly I put in there! It’s in its web now and the spider is all juicy and fat. Man, I put another spider in there, and that one is a lot skinnier and I would have thought that it would have made more effort to catch the fly, but nope. The big spider caught it. My spiders usually end up eating each other until there’s only one left, so maybe the big one will eat the other one after it’s done with the fly. Everything is pretty dead in there right now. Maybe I should put some more grass seeds and water in there so that they can get some greenery . . .

Conversation 3: The Contents of Sofia’s Jar

Sofia: Ooh! Look! Someone used a lemon! Here’s a lemon rind for my salty lemon jar!

Erik: What?

Sofia: I thought it was a waste to throw away the lemon rinds after we’re done squeezing them, so I decided to save them in a Mason jar of brine.

Erik: What’s brine?

Sofia: Salty water. It preserves stuff. See the lemon on the bottom? It’s about two months old, but it still looks as good as new! That’s because of the salt! It preserves stuff.

Erik: Sofia, you’re becoming a pack rat. Nobody wants salty lemons.

Sofia: Smell them! They smell really good!

Erik: NO!

Conversation 4: Petticoats

Sofia: Look Erik! I made a petticoat!

Erik: Never heard of ’em.

Sofia: Well, back in the olden days, people wore them under their skirts to keep warm, and they were just another warm skirt, but then they evolved to be poufy and ornamental, like mine.

Erik: What’s the point?

Sofia: To make your skirt poufy.

Erik: No, not my skirt. YOUR skirt. Sofia, people just don’t wear things like that. What’s the point?

Sofia: To make your skirt poufy!

We don’t get each other. At all.

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