Typical Conversation with Mother

Mom: Sofia, can you clean up your lunch mess? You left bacon grease in the frying pan.

Sofia: Fine.

Wait.

Where’s my grease container?! Did somebody throw away my grease?

Mom: What grease?

Sofia: The grease in the freezer! I’ve been saving it.

Mom: Oh yeah. We probably threw it away. Your father and I cleaned out the freezer the other day.

Sofia: Aaagh! I was saving that!

Mom: What for?

Sofia: To make soap out of!

Mom: ………………………………….. Our freezer is small, Sofia. We don’t really have room for bacon grease to make soap out of.

Sofia: But it’ll go to waste otherwise!

Or maybe I’ll use it to pop some popcorn later.

Mom: WHAT?! You’re going to eat it? You’ll clog your arteries!

Sofia: But I don’t want to waste it . . .

Maybe I’ll deep-condition my hair with it. People use olive oil; why not bacon grease? It’s all-natural, right?

Mom: -__-

 

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