Sofia’s Pumpkin Bread

Today was a really boring day. I had absolutely nothing to do. What does Sofia do when she’s bored and lonely?

1) Watches obscure videos on Youtube.

2) Feels guilty for sitting on the computer for so long.

3) Wonders why it’s called “sitting on the computer.” One never sits on the TV or the radio. Is this just a Sofia thing, or does everyone say “sit on the computer?” Now I’m worried that it’s just a weird Sofia thing and that nobody else actually says that. But they do! Don’t they?

4) Tries not to think about it anymore.

5) Goes out. Doesn’t matter where or what. Sofia will find a reason to go out. Today, I decided that I needed to go to Chinatown to buy coconut milk and rice flour. Had to. We were in dire need, you see. However, the bus was warm, and Chinatown was not, so I decided to wander the city on random buses. Then I ran into my Yao cousins Joseph and Joshua. Then, I followed them halfway home like a creeper. But it’s all good, because on the way Joseph happened to mention that he had, presumably for his own amusement, snuck up to his neighbor’s house and taken a photo of his living room through the window. Would I like to see it? It’s on his phone!

. . .

Therefore, Yao-cousin Joseph is more of a creeper than I am, and cannot complain about my following him halfway home.

After chatting with the Yao cousins, I spontaneously decided that it was a beautiful day for a lonely, contemplative walk in the graveyard. So I got off my bus and walked to the graveyard. Then I realized that it was sundown: closing time. Rats. And yes, I hang around the graveyard enough to know when closing time is. It’s not just me; my friends come along sometimes. It’s peaceful. And pretty. And fun to look at the names and dates. Fortunately, there is a bus stop right next to the graveyard, and I was off again within ten minutes. Unfortunately, we didn’t get anywhere very fast. The good people at Occupy Seattle decided that the self-same moment that the No. 10 bus came into view was the perfect time to become Occupy-the-Entire-Street Seattle. The No. 10 bus was not a happy bus.

“Yo Bus Driver! Can you open the door so that I can $#*&^% tell them to clear the street?” asked one of my fellow sufferers.

“Ya know, I don’t think that’ll help anythang.” said Bus Driver, blandly.

Sofia did go to Chinatown. Sofia did get coconut milk. Sofia did get glutinous rice flour. Mission accomplished.

6) Goes home and has Facebook-chat-shouting matches with Ryan the 7th Grader:

Sofia: You went to Shoofly Pie? Wait; the one in West Seattle?

RT7G: yea obv sofia

Sofia: I can walk there from my house!

RT7G: where do u live idk where shoofly pie is though

Sofia: uhh . . . WEST SEATTLE, you dork!!!

RT7G: wow i meant where in west seattle you DORK!

I’m such a good influence on these impressionable young people.

7) Makes food. Not necessarily eats food, but makes it. Today I made potato-onion bread, curried pumpkin soup, butter mochi (hence the glutinous rice flour and coconut milk), and a kale smoothie. Yes, I said a kale smoothie. It was green. And delicious.

Therefore, I’ll give you a recipe for pumpkin bread. That makes perfect sense, no?

Sofia’s Pumpkin Bread

Ingredients:

2 c Pumpkin puree*

4 eggs

1/2 c oil

1/2 c apple sauce**

2/3 c+1/2c water

1 c brown sugar

1 c white sugar

2 c whole wheat flour

1 1/2 c all-purpose flour

2 t baking soda

1 1/2 t salt

1 t cinnamon

1 t nutmeg

1/2 t clove

1/4 t ginger

1/2 c honey

Method:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit (YES! Spelled it right the first time). Grease and flour 3 7×3 in. loaf pans. If you don’t have 7×3 loaf pans, do not despair. Just use whatever loaf pan you have that will fit it. This recipe is really not fussy.

In a large bowl, mix together pumpkin, eggs, oil, 2/3 c water, and sugars until well blended. In a different bowl, whisk together flour, soda, salt, and spices. Stir into pumpkin mixture until just blended. Pour into prepared pans and bake 50 minutes or until the proverbial toothpick comes out clean. Whatever. I don’t really have toothpicks lying around my house. We use floss. For teeth, I mean. For poking baked goods to ensure their doneness, I use an uncooked spaghetti noodle. If you use different sizes of loaf pans (I made a big one and two mini-loaves), they will be done at different times.

Let cool on a wire rack or somewhere like that. When cool, mix together 1/2 c water with 1/2 c honey. Pour over top of loaves. This is my great cake-making secret; it’ll keep them from drying out. However, if you don’t want to profit from Sofia’s wisdom, don’t. They’ll still be fine.

* I make my own pumpkin puree. It’s super-easy. Take a pumpkin (or squash, same diff), chop it open, scoop out the innards, and stick it in the microwave with a couple spoonfuls of water. When the flesh is mushy, scoop it out and pulverize it. Super-easy.

**If you don’t have apple sauce, that’s fine. Just use a full cup of oil.

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