The Bro

My little brother Erik is bullying me. {Erik wuz here and wrote this bracketed section while Sofia was away, maybe she won’t notice}.He hates it when I call him “little brother” because he’s bigger than me now. All I want to do is watch Not Be Careful, Fall in Love With You, but instead, I’ve been forced to watch stop-motion Bruce Lee versus Ironman. I don’t even know who Ironman is. And look up pictures of beard hats. And count all my Facebook likes to see how popular I am. He just prevented me from putting “likes” in quotation marks. To do this, he claims, would be putting myself on a level of technological incompetency similar to those unfortunate beings who call it “The Facebook”.

Whatever.

Now he wants me to talk about Lemonheads.

Lemonheads are made by the  Ferrara Pan Candy Company. Invented in 1962, the Lemonhead is a lemon-flavoured hard candy, yellow in colour and sold at the Walgreens a few blocks from our house. One notable fact about Lemonheads is that they are produced using real lemon juice, which justifies buying them every time we go to buy milk. Lemonheads are made using the cold panned process. I don’t know what the cold panned process is, but it is also used to make Red Hots, which are disgusting. According to FerraraPan.com, approximately half a billion Lemonheads are produced each year.

Here is the Lemonhead mascot. Erik finds him obnoxious.

I hope you have enjoyed learning about Lemonheads. For a virtual tour of the Lemonhead factory, click here.

Now Erik’s making me delete all the defamatory material I put in here. And questioning my word choices. Perhaps it is time for Little Brother to go to bed.

Little Brother is very upset about this post. He says that it makes him seem childish and immature.

I will leave you with this nice alien banana. Erik found it.

Okay. It’s time for some sock knitting and Not Be Careful, Fall in Love With You.

Goodbye.

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4 thoughts on “The Bro

  1. You spell colour with a U just like me. Yay!

    “Invented in 1962, the Lemonhead is a lemon-flavoured hard candy, yellow in colour and sold at the Walgreens a few blocks from our house.”

  2. When I clicked on the “Virtual tour” and saw the front page, they were showing how they made Lemonheads.
    Page 1. “CORN SYRUP” pouring in a bowl.
    Page 2. “SUGAR” being poured in same bowl.
    My mind’s page. “TEETH” that are 99% fillings and 1% real teeth.
    I am deeply disturbed. 😦

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