I went to Forks, Wa. today with friends Kevin and Cheyenne.
Yes, that Forks, Wa. The one with the vampires.
Now waitjustaminute! Don’t stop reading yet! I am not, I repeat, not a Twilight fan. I read the first book when I was young and clueless. I saw the first movie when I was insanely bored. That is it. Cheyenne has also read a couple of them, but Kevin hasn’t, so we enlightened him.
Kevin: “So, what is this imprinting thing? What does Jacob, the werewolf, who is an early love-interest to Bella, do to Renesme, the vampire-child of Edward and Bella? And what’s with the sunlight?”
Us: “Well, you know, like a duckling that imprints on it’s mother; it imprints, and then it follows her around and stuff. So, Jacob and Renesme will get married eventually, and vampires glitter in the sunshine, so they have to camp out in the woods so that no one will find out.”
Kevin: “Wait, what?”
Why did we go to Forks today? I really have no idea. We just did.
It was still fun, even though none of us are exactly Twihards. It was also extremely embarrassing. There were many middle school girls. There were many harassed-looking locals. There were many questionable souvenirs, which I found hilarious.
Someone had “Twilight firewood” for sale, but I couldn’t get a picture of that.
We saw Bella’s house . . . and the Cullen house . . . and Bella’s truck . . . and a couple of annoyed-looking local girls who looked like they might beat us up if we dared ask them for directions to Mike’s dad’s store . . .
As we were driving out of town, Kevin, who purposefully remained outside of my photos, said to us,
“Do you know what ‘kitsch’ means?”
“Uhh, yeah, sort of . . .”
“That, my friends, was kitsch.”