I feel like you all are going to get tired of my “standing on the corner” stories. But it really happened!
Today I went to Chinatown with my mother and baby sister. We ate food. After that, we split up; Mama and Baby went to Chinese children’s storytime at the library, while I went to all the fabulously sketchy little grocery stores to compare prices on mangoes.
Do you say “mang-go” or “mong-go”?
I say “mong-go” most of the time.
As I was waiting to cross the street, an old guy on a shiny blue bicycle rode up. He had a shiny blue helmet on, and looked at me with eyes hidden under shiny blue sunglasses.
“Is that hair real?”
Him: “Oh man, it’s beautiful! An’ look at you, so skeeny, you beautiful! Never cut dat hair!”
By this time, we were crossing the street. He pedaled slowly in order to keep talking to me.
“Yeah, I hang around here a lot. You see all dose restaurants? Dey all know me! I’m Johnny! See? Here’s my driver’s license! Dat dere picture is from my wild and crazy days, back wen I had a beard. What’s your name?”
“Sofia? Dat’s a hispanic name! Lots of Hispanic girls named Sofia! Too many, but dat’s okay, you’re still pretty. What are you, Hispanic or Vietnamese?”
“Uh, Chinese, actually.”
“Sofia! Dat’s a Hispanic name!”
“I think it was originally Greek.”
“Oh. But lots of Hispanic girls have that name! Well, I’m a-goin’ to go eat now, but if you’re ever lonely and want to see a movie, you jes’ come an’ find me! Or, you know, you can come along now–”
“I gotta go to the grocery store now. Byee!”
But seriously! Why do these things happen to me?