What did I even do today?
1. I got a letter from Germany today. That made me happy. I like letters from Germany. It smelled good. It also had a sticker of a soccer player inside.
2. Today I mailed someone a bottle of Chinese medicine. I was going to mail a stick of rhubarb to Ryan the 6th grader, who has never before heard of my favorite vegetable, but the post office was closed, so I guess I’ll have to wait until tomorrow.
3. I went to see Margot today. Her gate was open. Margot’s gate is never open, so I knew that someone else had been to see her today. It transpired that her visitor was a Russian vacuum salesman, by the name of Pavl Mikhaelovich. Margot enjoyed her visit from Pavl very much. He stayed two hours, she told me, even though she told him that she couldn’t afford the $3,000 vacuum cleaner. They discussed the Cold War, their mutual love of Hawaii, and Pavl’s marital status.
I love Margot.
4. The city got new buses. They’re shiny and futuristic. They make me feel like I’m on a space shuttle. Somehow, I prefer the old, beat-up buses that hang out in Chinatown. They have an actual bell that rings when you pull the stop line. They also have that smell. I don’t mean the smell of old people, or the smell of cigarettes, or the smell of unwashed bodies pressing close to you on hot days; I mean the smell of the bus itself; the smell of my childhood; the smell of summer adventures on the bus. I didn’t notice any of that smell on the new, shiny buses.
5. My fabulous neighbors are out of town. They are fabulous in that they hire me to cat-sit for them when they are gone.
My duties as cat-sitter: Feed cats. Change litter.
Pay: $10 a day.
Other benefits: two cats to play with, gourmet and organic snack food, a quiet house in which to study chemistry, TV, video games, and everything else they have in their house.
Seriously, these people tell me to hang out at their house and use their stuff and eat their food. I love them.
6. There’s a guy at school who is really starting to annoy me. Let’s call him Eskimo Man (that reminds me; he brought a walrus tusk to school the other day; who does these things?). Like Mo, Eskimo Man is a very nice guy. He’s in my first class of the day. We got to talking one day, and apparently, Eskimo Man decided that I was a pretty cool kid. I’m fine with that. I like it when people like me. However, what I’m not fine with is a Personal Space Invader. It seems that no matter where I decide to sit in the class, Eskimo Man manages to sit right next to me. It’s not like he tries to bother me or convert me to his religion; he just . . . always . . . sits next to me. AAAAAAAAAGGGHH!!!
Perhaps I am a little paranoid. Maybe Eskimo Man just wants to be friends. However, Eskimo Man, what you need to realize is that girls my age are liable to be creeped out easily by guys who are 10 years older than they are. That’s just the way it works.
Or maybe that’s just the way Sofia works.
Maybe Sofia gets paranoid too easily.
BUT STOP SITTING NEXT TO ME!!
I feel better now.