13 Steps to a Miserable Monday

This is what I call a stressful day:

1. Wake up at 7:23 and dash out the door to try and catch the 7:30 bus going to school.

2. Miss the bus.

3. Wait half an hour for the next one.

4. Remember that you have a quiz in your first class.

5. Get to school 15 minutes late and decide not to go to class because it would be too late for the quiz anyway.

6. Meet an extremely friendly/unhelpful guy from class who comes up from behind, claps you genially on the shoulder and says, “So, you must have missed the bus! Teacher waited for half an hour before giving the quiz. You could have made it!”

Thanks. Thanks a lot, Guy. That makes me feel so much better now.

7. Go to Christian Club, only to realize that nobody else is going to show up.

8. Remember that paperwork you were supposed to turn in which is now three days past the deadline. Rats.

9. Study chemistry for three hours.

10. Go to chemistry tutoring for an hour and a half, during which time you feel very sorry for your poor chemistry tutor.

11. Go home and devour everything in sight because you just did five hours of chemistry on half a sandwich.

12. Remember that you are supposed to babymonster-sit today.

13. Baby-sit a child who is so entirely obsessed with baseball that he insists on your playing baseball in the living room with him for two hours straight while watching the Mariners. With a ping-pong ball. He also expects you ( who are very weak and un-athletic and don’t even know the rules of baseball) to pitch like a pro and he makes you practice in the hallway until he’s satisfied.

Kid: Ready? One, two, throw! One, two, throw! One, two, throw! C’mon Sofia, you need to pick up the speed. Aim for the glove. No, that’s a ball. We want strikes. One ball, no strikes. Two balls, no strikes. C’mon, you gotta strike this guy out. STRIKE! Okay, that was actually an okay throw. Now let’s play for real. One, two, throw! One, two, throw! The ball went under the couch, Sofia; go and get it. C’mon now, hurry up. We’re wasting time now. You ready? Throw!

Seriously, if that kid doesn’t get into professional baseball when he’s older, he’s going to be a drill sargent.

Eventually I got him to forget about the baseball and we played a nice game of Climb-On-Sofia’s-Back-While-She-Tries-To-Throw-You-Off.

I don’t know if I’ve ever worked harder for $30.

When I got home, I remembered the frozen buttercream chocolate frosting that I had made too much of 8 months prevously. I ate it, and it was good.

The above is just another example of why I can’t be a doctor: I do strange things when I’m stressed.

But anyway, the great thing about a Monday like that is that Tuesday feels absolutely fabulous. I got up on time, I brought a bigger sandwich, and I got all my chemistry homework done without help!

More importantly, it’s a beautiful day, and I’m wearing a lime green cotton dress with white polka dots.

I look good in lime green.


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