How to Ruin Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards

I like making cards. It’s just another sub-hobby that goes with all my other sub-hobbies to make up my main obsession . . . which, of course, is being old-fashioned.

Plus, people like home-made stuff. It shows that you put effort into it. You love them enough to have put your thoughts and energy and personality into it, rather than picking it up at the drugstore last-minute on your way to the birthday party.

I remember the first home-made card I ever made. I was 5, and going to my best friend’s party. I had it all planned out in my head; it was going to be a midnight skyline with a navy blue crescent moon in the middle.

Then my mother said, “Hey Sofia, it’s time to go!”

I dashed up to my room, grabbed a Crayola washable marker, scribbled a mutilated moon-shape onto a crumpled piece of paper, and jumped in the car. When I later handed my creation to the birthday girl, she was understandably bewildered as to the meaning of this wad of scratch paper I was giving her.

I’ve improved since then. Just a bit.

For one group of people, however, don’t bother. It’s a waste of time.

Obviously, I’m talking about boys.

If they even open it, it’s because they think there might be money inside. If they actually keep it, they

a) are hopeless packrats, or

b) are in love.

I don’t usually bother with cards for boys; I’ll send them a letter, just so that they have the satisfaction of knowing that someone remembered their birthday, even if it is only Sofia. I remember a 6th grader friend of mine, a week or so after his birthday, coming up to me and informing me that, though it had been okay of me to send it, he’d have preferred a can of Spam.

So don’t waste your time.

However, if you happen to have a stack of Yu-Gi-Oh! cards you want to get rid of, this is a great way to go about it:

First, find your brother’s stash of Yu-Gi-Oh! cards.

Done.

Then, arrange four cards in a rectangle.

 

If you're weird like me, you'll make sure to vary the spell cards, trap cards, and monster cards. But you don't have to.

After that, get out your clear packing tape . . .

 

And tape the cards together on both sides.

Ta da!

You have just ruined your little brother’s Yu-Gi-Oh! cards! But it’s okay; he hasn’t played with them for a long time anyways. I’ll just say now, though, don’t blame me if you get packing tape all over some card that turns out to be worth money. I personally used fakes.

I mean, I think so. The descriptions seem very odd, and a lot of them didn’t have the little shiny foil eye thing in the corner.

 

. . . Reepicheep? Is that you?

Another nice thing about this card is that you can send it as a post card, as long as the post office folks are nice and understanding that way.I’m not sure what the size limit for post cards actually is, but I’ve had at least one reach its recipient.

Post cards = cheaper postage = happy Sofia!

You could just send it as-is, without bothering to put your name on it. It’s always fun to get mysterious mail, right? Or, you can put a note on it, like a real post card.

I am so weird.

Happy crafting,

Sofia

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